Another Me
by eloquences
Summary: He was bad news, and I know that, but I don't care. I don't care that we do things that we shouldn't do. I don't care that he gets me high to the extent where I don't even know what's real. I don't care, just as long as he was by my side.
1. My love

Another Me Chapter One

**Okay, so this is kind of a dark-ish, sorta not really, two shot. **

**READ: I do not smoke marijuana or do any other drugs, so I have no idea how it works. I just go from what I've seen my friends do and what I've seen on TV. So if I have it wrong, I am sorry.**

**Also, I'm sorry if there are any spelling mistakes. I tried to look over it but I think I missed a bit. **

**Inspired by the songs **_**Mama Do by Pixie Lott**_** and **_**Born to Die by Lana Del Rey**_**.**

**Warning: Well, I am who I am, sooo… ;) And there will be use of drugs and foul language.**

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><p><strong>Summary: <strong>He was bad news, and I know that, but I don't care. I don't care that he takes me to places I shouldn't be. I don't care that we do things that we shouldn't do. I don't care that he gets me high to the extent where I don't even know what's real. I don't care, just as long as he was by my side.

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><p><em><strong>Clare's POV<strong>_

Every night it's the same. I tell my parents I will be at the library, studying like the innocent girl they think I am. I tell them I'll be at Alli's, cramming for a test that doesn't exist, just so I could spend the night with him. I lie a little more every day, just to sneak out and see him. I don't care what the cost is, just as long as I see him. It's not like I can help it; he's just so irresistible. It's just something I can't control; my feelings are like a live wire.

I'm helpless.

There's just something about him that captures my attention. There's something about the night, and the way it hides all the things I like. I never would have thought that I would end up like this; incredibly and deeply in love with Elijah Goldsworthy. He wasn't anything like me; he was the complete opposite, but maybe that's why I fell for him. He was bad news, and I know that, but I don't care. I don't care that he takes me to places I shouldn't be. I don't care that we do things that we shouldn't do. I don't care that he gets me high to the extent where I don't even know what's real. I don't care that if I went overboard, I may not come out of this alive. I don't care, just as long as he was by my side.

So, knowing that I wasn't able to wait any longer, I walked downstairs and told my parents that I would be at the library, studying hard for a test that didn't exist. I knew that I needed to get as much time with him as I could, and there was no way I would let my parents get in the way of it. And it was very fortunate for them to believe the lie I had told them, yet again, and say what they always said. "Alright honey, make sure you're back by midnight."

Normally, I would have longer than midnight, but since the library closes at 11:30, they want me home by midnight, knowing that it only takes me a half hour to get home from the library. I knew that if I argued, they would get suspicious, so I only agreed, wanting to shorten this conversation so I could see him. I grabbed my jacket and my book bag, which I will not need where I will be going, before heading out the door. I made my way down the sidewalk, knowing he was just behind the corner. I turned the corner and sure enough, that beloved Hearse of his was parked waiting for me, making my lips tug up into a smirk. I walked over to it and opened the back, throwing my bag inside before shutting it and making my way to the passenger side.

As I got in the hearse, I was immediately struck with the sweet smell of the drug I will be endured with soon enough. I leaned over and greeted him the way he likes to be greeted; I climbed into his lap and moved my mouth to his, letting my tongue find his. I could taste the marijuana on his tongue, making me all the more excited. I pulled away and looked into his eyes, hoping he knew what I wanted. He only smirked and brought the joint to my lips. I parted my lips and let him place it between them before I took a drag. He pulled the joint back and I smirked at him before leaning close to his lips, waiting for him to part his lips before I let the smoke linger into his mouth, kissing him afterwards. I pulled away and watched him blow the smoke out the window, his eyes never leaving mine.

I climbed back into my seat and got comfortable, ready for him to start driving. I smirked over at him, and he returned it before grabbing my hand in his, using his free one to steer the wheel as we drove off in the night.

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><p>His smile. His smile is what kept me here. His smile is why I didn't get up and leave every time we entered and unknown house. I have no idea who owns any of the houses we go to, nor do I care, as long as I was with him. I felt safe with him, even if what I was doing wasn't the slightest bit safe. I knew that if anything did happen to me, he would take care of me. It's not like it would be the first time. I had done this plenty of times, and even when I go overboard, he is always there when I wake up. He's always there, caressing my skin, holding me close, watching me and making sure I was alright. Even though he never said it, I knew he cared about me the same way I cared about him. He just never admitted it aloud.<p>

The way his eyes looked into mine as he handed me a small pill made me feel as if I was on top of the world. And that was before I had even taken anything. I slowly took the pill from him, smiling as he watched me. He had already taken his, and I knew it wouldn't be long before he felt the wave of perfection.

"I won't let anything happen to you, baby." Eli whispered in my ear, realizing that I was taking longer than usual. It wasn't that I was scared, because I wasn't. I was more excited than anything. But just the way he was looking at me just made me want to savour the moment. I placed the pill between my teeth, looking into Eli's eyes before crushing it, feeling it dissolve into powder on my tongue and down my throat.

I watched as he closed his eyes and smiled in bliss, obviously feeling the effects of the pill now. I knew it wouldn't be long for me and my heart began beating in an escalating way as I waited to feel what I had been craving for the past few days. We hadn't done this since last weekend, when I had told my parents I was at Alli's for the night, and knowing that in just a few seconds I will be feeling the same high as last time made me all the more excited.

Suddenly I felt the rush hit me like a ton of bricks, fogging up my mind. I felt light, like I was floating. I watched as Eli sat back on the couch, watching me with that adorable smirk on his lips. I giggled and brought my hand to his lips, tracing them with my index finger, feeling an electric buzz with the contact of anything I touched. I felt his hand move from my waist and to my torso before making its way to the back of my head. His fingers threaded through my hair and I closed my eyes at his touch, loving every second of it. It wasn't long before his lips pressed to mine, and I smiled, not responding to the kiss yet. I just had to saviour this moment, knowing that this would soon wear off.

This is how it usually went; we would get high until we lost track of reality, then get too engulfed in each other's bodies to realize that we had made it to an unknown bed, falling into another night of bliss. I wasn't always like this, I used to be an innocent little girl; the girl my parents thought I still am. I used to believe in marriage before sex, that drugs were bad for you and that if you sinned, you would be punished. That was before I had met Eli.

It still amazed me that _I_ was the one who got myself into this. If you looked at this from a different perspective, you would think that Eli forced me into it, that he got me addicted. But no, that's completely opposite of what happened. He was against it at first. He thought that if something happened that I wouldn't want to ever see him again. He thought that I would regret it and him. He thought that I was too young and innocent. But, I had seen him get high many times before. I had watched as he fell into complete bliss, how he would suddenly be the happiest person in the world. My curiosity had gotten the best of me and I wanted to try it; I wanted to know how he was feeling each time he took a drag of a joint or when he took a small pill. I wanted to know how good it felt to feel the way he did all those times. So I finally convinced him to let me at least try it, and he did. And I will never regret that day.

I finally kissed Eli back, realizing that he was waiting for me to respond. His tongue had met mine and I moaned in my throat. Eli's kisses were electrifying, and I knew that I would never get sick of them. I smiled when he began to nibble on my bottom lip, noticing the smile on his lips as well. When his hand had found my thigh, caressing it softly I knew that tonight would be a good night.

I used to be the good girl my parents had always wanted me to be. I used to listen when they told me that I should be married before I lost my virginity. They told me that if someone loved me enough, they would wait. But that's not what love is. Love is something unexplainable; love is something you can't describe with words. So, waiting to physically be with the one person that makes you feel alive sounded completely insane to me. When I realized just how much in love with Eli I was, I knew that I couldn't wait any longer. I loved him and I wanted to express it physically. I knew he was the one that I wanted to do it with. I knew he was the right person for me to share it with. I knew he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. So I gave my virginity up to him. I was nervous as fuck, but when his hands had caressed every inch of my skin, with his lips following, and with the soothing words he had whispered to me, I knew I had made the right decision. I knew I wouldn't regret it, and I was right.

I didn't regret anything that happened between Eli and I. I didn't regret that I was into drugs. I didn't care. I didn't care that I was going against my parents. I didn't care that I might do some stupid things. I didn't care that I was doing illegal things. I didn't care that what I was doing was going against everything I had believed in. I didn't care about anything other than being with Eli.

I guess if I were to look at this from a different perspective, I'd think that this was just a phase. That we're just a couple of horny teenagers looking for the thrill that drugs bring. But that was certainly not the case. I was completely and helplessly in love with him, but I knew nobody would understand. The fact that I was only seventeen and he was nineteen didn't help either. Though, nobody at this party knew that. My parents sure as hell didn't need to know where I am or who I'm with.

They didn't even know we were dating.

And I sure as hell wasn't going to tell them. If they knew that I was dating a boy who I gave my virginity up to and had gotten me into drugs they would lock me in my room and never let me see Eli again. They would do everything in their power to keep us apart. And if that were to happen, I knew I would go insane.

"Baby," I heard Eli whisper as he broke away. I looked up into his dazed, lust filled eyes, knowing mine must look similar. I poked my tongue out of my mouth and slid it across his bottom lip, watching as his eyes closed, his lips parting as he let out a sexy moan. He opened his eyes once I pulled my tongue back, staring at me with need filling his eyes. "Let's get out of here."

I nodded and he pulled me up from the couch and out the door. Once we were outside, I realized it was raining. I looked up into the night sky and smiled, feeling a tingling sensation run through my body when a raindrop hit my skin. I let go of Eli's hand and spun around on the sidewalk, loving the rush I felt. I felt as if I was on a cloud, knowing that I could slip through the fog at any moment. When I had stopped spinning, I realized Eli was leaning against Morty, his lips formed into that adorable smirk that I love, his hands dug in his pockets as he watched my with amusement. He pulled one of his hands out of his pocket and lifted his index finger to me, motioning for me to come to him. I smiled seductively at him as I slowly and torturously made my way over to him. Once I was standing in front of him, his arm immediately wrapped around my waist, pulling me to him and lifting me up so my toes were on his, our noses almost touching. I bit my lip, knowing where this was going. His eyes studied my face as I ignored the rain, pushing the fact that we were soaking wet aside.

My hands had found the collar of his leather jacket, pulling his face closer to mine. I leaned in and kissed him, loving that fact that he wasted no time in plunging his tongue into my mouth. He turned us around and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he lay me down on the hood of Morty. My arms circled around his neck, pressing our lips harder together. Eli moaned in his throat and I giggled, feeling the vibration on my lips. It was my turn to moan as he pressed himself against me, letting me know he didn't plan on stopping any time soon.

I pulled away, gasping for air. "What time is it?"

He scrambled to check his watch before looking up at me. "Ten thirty. Why?" It was then that I realized time had gone by pretty fast.

I chewed on my bottom lip, not wanting this night to end. "I still have an hour or so." I looked into his eyes, noticing just how wet his hair was. The rain was still hitting us, but yet we stayed there as he waited for me to say something. "Want to go back to your place?"

He raised his eyebrows, but I noticed the tiny smile on his lips. "You sure?"

I smiled and nodded, leaning up to give him a chaste kiss. He smirked and removed himself from me, helping me get up from Morty's hood. We got into the hearse and made our way to his place.

By the time we had gotten to his place, I was shaking in anticipation. We hadn't been intimate in a while, and I couldn't wait to feel his touch again. Throughout the car ride he had his hand on my thigh, caressing it slowly. He brushed his finger against my center a lot more then he should have, letting me know that it wasn't accidental. When I glanced at him, I noticed the smirk playing at his lips, letting me know he was just teasing me.

We got out of the hearse, and I realized that the high had worn off. I followed Eli up to his front door, silently thanking God for the fact that he lived alone. He had moved out of his parents place a while ago, not wanting to come home to their worried questions each time he walked in the door. I took advantage of him living alone, too. My school isn't very far from his place, so sometimes I call my parents and tell them I need to stay a little while longer to finish a project so I could spend more time with him. It amazed me at how clueless they were. This had been going on for about a year now, and they still have no idea.

Eli had gotten the door open and quickly pulled me inside, closing the door and pressing me up against it. He didn't bother in turning any of the lights on before his lips were on mine, kissing me to no extent. I shook off my jacket before wrapping my arms around his neck. He took off his leather jacket before I jumped up and wrapped my legs around him, his hands holding my body up from my backside. I ignored the uncomfortable feeling from my wet jeans as he began making his way to his room.

Once inside his room, he set me down before bringing his hand to the hem of my shirt and bringing it over my head. I brought my lips back to his as my hands found the buttons on his shirt. I rushed to get his shirt open, my nimble fingers fumbling with them before I finally got them all undone. I ripped the shirt from his body and threw it down to the floor. He backed me up until the back of my knees hit the bed, causing us to fall onto it. Eli situated himself between my legs, his lips finding my neck. I threaded my fingers through his hair, closing my eyes as I enjoyed the feeling of his lips on my neck.

My eyes snapped open as I realized that we don't have much time and there was no way I was going to go home sexually frustrated. I lifted Eli's head and looked into his eyes as my hands found his belt. He got the memo and he let me do what I started as his hands found my jeans. I undid his belt and then the button and zipper to his jeans before pulling them off of his hips. He kicked them off and undid the button to my jeans before pulling the zipper down. I lifted my hips, helping him as he pulled my jeans off, throwing them to the floor.

He brought his lips to mine and kissed me. "You're… still on… birth control… right?" He asked between kisses. I nodded and bit his lip, my hips lifting up to meet his. He moaned before thrusting his hips to mine, and I realized just how turned on he was, his mouth swallowing my moan as he kissed me.

My hand slid down his chest until I hit the waist band of his boxers. I could tell he knew what was coming by the way his lips curled into a smirk against mine. My hand slipped behind the waist band of his boxers and he pulled away to look at me, taking in a sharp breath as I gripped him in my hand. His eyes closed and he moaned as my hand moved over him. I leaned up and began kissing his neck, my hand never losing movement. I sucked and nibbled on his neck, loving the delicious sounds that escaped his luscious lips. He thrust into my hand, letting me know that he wanted more. I tore my lips from his neck and rested my head back on the bed, looking up at him. I removed my hand as his slid to my back; I arched into him, making it easier for him to undo my bra. With one flick of his fingers the claps was undone and the bra was thrown to the floor to join the other unwanted clothing.

He leaned down and began kissing my neck, making his way down to my breasts. I pushed him away softly and he looked at me with a confused expression.

"Can we skip the foreplay? I don't have a lot of time." I asked him as my hand trailed up his arm and to his neck, playing with the little hairs on the back. He nodded his head and leaned down to kiss me, his fingers sliding behind the waist band of my panties before pulling them down my legs; I kicked them off before my hands found the waist band of his boxers. Our lips moved in sync as my fingers hooked behind the waist band of his boxers, pulling them off of his hips before he kicked them off.

When he pressed his body to mine, my mind began to spiral. My stomach felt as if it was fluttering with little black butterflies, deep inside me. I felt paralyzed by his touch; I would never understand how he has this effect on me, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

My thoughts were cut short when he flipped us over, now having me hovering over him. He looked up at me with those gorgeous eyes, holding more emotion than I could have ever imagined, as his hands found my hips. I placed my hands on his rapidly rising and falling chest, knowing what he wanted. He liked to change things up each time we had intercourse, but I didn't mind. In fact, I loved that he liked to explore things with me.

"You're so beautiful." Eli whispered, his eyes roaming my body. I smiled brightly at him, loving the fact that he was so sweet with me. He returned the smile, his breath coming out in short pants. He was worked up and I knew he couldn't wait any longer; I knew I couldn't.

I lifted my lower body up and he gripped his length, waiting for me. I aligned my entrance with him, slowly sliding down on him. He removed his hand and soon he was fully sheathed inside me, a soft moan escaping both of our swollen lips. His eyes caught on mine as I started to move my hips back and forth, watching his face twist in pleasure. I bit my lip, knowing that if I didn't I wouldn't be able to control my moans. His hands helped guide me, setting our pace until I picked it up on my own.

I couldn't describe what I was feeling at the moment. My mind was clouded with emotions that I couldn't even name, and I loved that Eli made me feel like this. I felt like I was on fire, and every time he caressed my skin it stung; not in the painful way, but in the way it would feel as if I placed my freezing cold hand under hot water. But this feeling was _much_ _better_. I felt content, like I was in a fantasy world. I didn't want to think about the fact that it won't be long before I have to go home and pretend that I wasn't just out with the love of my life. I wanted this night to last forever, though I knew it was imposable. Wishful thinking, I guess.

"Ohh…" I moaned when he lifted his hips to mine. His breathing was uneven as I began to pant. He looked into my eyes and smirked, and with one swift movement of his hands, he had knocked my hands off of his chest and onto the bed so our faces were only centimeters apart. Our hips moved in sync, our lust-filled eyes locked. I leaned down and kissed him, feeling him pick up his pace. His hands slid up my back, caressing every part of my skin. He thrust his hips up in time to meet mine, harder than before, and I moaned as I tugged his bottom lip between my teeth.

He suddenly flipped us over, the King sized bed he had making it easier, catching me by surprise. Our movements stilled for a moment as we stared at each other; him with amusement and me with shock. He smirked and stared into my eyes as his hand trailed down my leg, slowly and torturously, until he grabbed it and hitched it over his shoulder.

"Care to mix things up a bit?" He asked huskily as his hand roamed my stomach.

I licked my lips, wondering how this new position would feel. I knew I didn't have a lot of time left with him, so I figured, why not make the best of it?

I thrust my hips up, letting him know that I was ready for whatever he had in mind. His eyes darkened and he grinned before thrusting his hips forward; a moan escaped my lips as I realized this new position let him deeper inside of me. He started off slow, torturing me, before he picked up his place. His eyes never left mine as he thrust into me, his breaths coming out in pants. I pressed my hands to his back, pressing him to me.

"Faster," I moaned, knowing he was holding back just to tease me. I knew he wanted me to ask for what I wanted, and currently, I wasn't in the mood to play around.

He complied, moving his hips faster, pounding into me harder than before. Now, each time his hips met mine, a moan escaped my lips. With each thrust he was going deeper, getting closer and closer to that one spot that drove me to insanity. I brought my hand to the back of his head before pulling him down to me and lifting my head so I could kiss him, just to get a taste of heaven. It was a little more difficult to kiss him with my leg separating us, so I removed my leg from his shoulder before wrapping both of them around his waist. I pulled him closer to me with my legs, my lips tearing from his as I let out a loud moan, my head tilting back into his pillow; he was now hitting that spot deep inside me.

I cursed and watched through half lidded eyes as Eli grinned at me. Little beads of sweat covered our bodies and I knew it wasn't long before I reached my peak. He leaned down and kissed my neck, nibbling and sucking as he pounded into me, making my brain turn to mush. My mind was a fuzzy, a feeling I will never get used to. I dragged my nails down his back, and I smiled when I heard him groan loudly in my ear.

"I'm almost there." He warned me.

I nodded, unable to speak as my breaths came out in pants. My eyes squeezed shut and I tossed my head back, letting out a moan as he thrust into me harder and faster, his hand reaching between our bodies to rub my clit. I moaned his name in his ear, hearing him moan in response. My hips met his over and over again, and I knew I would let go at any moment now. My hands gripped his bed sheets as his teeth sunk into my shoulder; I knew he didn't like the fact that he was a screamer, but I loved it. I loved hearing him moan my name in ecstasy.

So, I lifted my hips just in time to meet his, and I fell over the edge with a sharp cry of his name. His head tossed back, lifting from my shoulder as he fell with me, his eyes shut. I had longed to feel like this again; to feel as if there were time bombs going off throughout my body, to feel as if there were millions of sparklers blurring my vision, to feel as if my body was on fire, and the only way to put it out was to feel his touch.

He collapsed beside me, and I don't think a second had passed before he pulled me to his body, wrapping his arms around me in a tight grip. His eyes were still closed as he panted, his breath mixing with mine. My chest heaved up and down, trying to regain my normal breathing once again. My mind was still buzzing and I was seeing stars; this was my _favorite_ kind of high.

"Don't leave me." Eli murmured, his eyes finally opening to look at me. It took me a moment to realize he meant he didn't want me to go home; he wanted me to stay and spend the night with him. There was nothing more in the world that I wanted than to spend the night with him. I loved staying with him, letting him hold me to him as we both drifted off to sleep. The way he would hold me to his chest so I could hear his heartbeat as I drifted off; it was my lullaby.

"If I could… I would stay here forever." I whispered, running my fingers through his hair. I frowned, "But I have to go back."

He frowned but nodded, understanding. "When are you going to tell them?"

I pressed my lips to a line, knowing he was talking about us. I had been thinking about telling my parents about us; I just couldn't stand the fact that he was my dirty little secret anymore. I wanted him to be more than that. I wanted my parents to see how important he was to me; that he's not just a fling. Eli is way more than just a fling; he is my forever. I know that it is possible for us not to work out, and I pray that it will never come to that, but I do know that he was meant for me. I know that he is my soul mate, and I will fight for him.

"I was thinking about telling them next weekend." I told him, watching his eyes lit up, though he tried to hide his happiness. It was Friday and I knew that I would have all week to prepare for the long and awkward conversation me and my parents would be having. I knew there might be some hurtful words and some yelling, but I figured that if I could show them how much I care for Eli and how amazing he is, they might actually approve of us. "I need the week to figure out how to tell them, though. I can't just spring it on them; I need to actually sit them down if we want this to work."

"That's fine, I just – it's nice to know that you're not ashamed of me."

I looked at him in utter disbelief. "I was never ashamed of you, Eli, nor will I ever be. I don't understand where you got that from. The only reason I haven't told them is because if I had, they would have banned me from ever seeing you again. And I couldn't live with that."

I lifted my hand and moved his bangs out of his eyes, noticing the small smile on his lips. He nodded, letting me know he now understood, and leaned forward to kiss me. Once we pulled away, I looked over at the clock and frowned. I only had fifteen minutes to get home.

"I have to go." I sighed.

He frowned but nodded, and we both got up to get dressed.

…

…

Here we are, sitting around the corner from the last place I wanted to be. There was only about five more minutes I had before the clock struck midnight, and for a moment I kind of felt like Cinderella. I knew this dream would end at midnight, though I couldn't help but wish that there was some fairy god mother to grant my wish of making this night never-ending.

Eli brought his lips to mine to give me a sweet kiss, filled with passion and love, letting me know just how much he wanted me to stay. I wanted to stay, too, trust me, but I knew I couldn't. I could tell my parents that I was spending the night at Alli's and go to Eli's instead, like many times before, but I knew that wasn't an option right now. Although if I did, they would most likely believe me; my parents trust me enough to not check up on me with Alli's parents; big mistake on their part. But they would get a bit suspicious as to why I waited to ask them if I could spend the night.

Eli pulled away and rested his forehead against mine. I looked into his eyes and said, "I love you."

He held my gaze, looking from one eye to the other. This isn't the first time I had said this, but he had yet to say it back. He knew how I felt about him, and even though he didn't say it, I knew he felt the same way about me. I knew he wouldn't say it; he's too scared. The last time he had told somebody he had loved them, they had ran out of his life. That was with his past girlfriend, and that's what brought him to drugs. And ever since then, he hasn't told anyone he loved them, not even his parents. They understood, as do I. I didn't want to pressure him into saying it, when I knew he was scared, but it would be nice to hear him say it, even though I know how he feels. I can tell by the way he looks at me, or the way he holds me. I can just _feel_ it.

"I…" Eli spoke, and for a moment my heart had stopped, thinking that he might say it. We had had this conversation before. The first time I had said it, he wasn't shocked; he was more scared than ever. That was when he had told me what went down with him and his ex, and from then on, I just knew in time he would get over his fear once he realized I wasn't going anywhere.

He shook his head, and I knew he wasn't going to say it. He grabbed me and pulled me closer, pecking me on the lips before he kissed my check. He pulled me into a hug, resting his head on my shoulder. I nuzzled my head into his neck as he breathed into my ear. "You know how I feel about you."

I smiled and pulled back so I was looking at him. "I do."

He smiled softly and nodded. I gave him a kiss and when I went to pull away, he leaned forward for another, and then another, kissing me over and over again. I giggled and playfully pushed at his chest, before pulling him into another passionate kiss. I smiled as I pulled away, loving the way this man was making me feel.

"It's almost midnight; you should get going before Papa Edwards comes out with a shotgun." Eli winked and I rolled my eyes. My dad was most likely asleep, and if he was a very heavy sleeper who didn't wake up at 6am, then maybe I would stay out and sneak in before he wakes up. But since that's not possible, I might as well go now.

I pressed my lips to a line. "You free tomorrow?"

"Clare, when do I ever have plans?" Eli asked, cocking an eyebrow. He was right; he wasn't very social. I had met him at a grocery store where he was working. I did know that he had one really close friend, but he was always too busy with his girlfriend. I guess it's the same with Eli, too. Eli and I spend a lot of time together; as much time as we can, just in case my parents suddenly get a flash of reality and realize that their daughter has been sneaking around with a boy for the past year.

"You know, you should really try and change that. Call Adam and make plans for a guy's night or something. If you keep spending all your time with me, you'll get sick of me." I teased, sticking my tongue out.

He shook his head, looking serious as ever. "Not possible."

I smiled softly at him, loving how he sweet talks me. I leaned over and kissed him once more, though he pulled me closer and deepened it, sliding his tongue between my lips.

"I really… have to… go… now…" I mumbled between kisses. He chuckled and pulled away, nodding his head before giving me the gesture to get out of his car. "I'll call you." I told him.

He nodded and I smiled at him before I climbed out of the car and closed the passenger door. I walked down the sidewalk and before I turned the corner, I turned around to look at him. I blew him a kiss and he smiled, shaking his head at me; he was laughing at my childish ways. I finally turned the corner and walked to my house.

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><p><em><strong>Later on in the week<strong>_

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><p>"I'm going to Alli's!" I called out to my mother before making my way to the door. I didn't plan on actually going to Alli's; I was going to meet Eli, though she didn't need to know that, of course. Alli was already informed about my plan, so if my mother happened to call her she could cover for me. I loved that Alli would do that for me. She knows how I feel about Eli and the fact that I am finally living life to the fullest makes her proud. When I first started high school I was a little prude who always got her homework done and never missed a day of school and who was always on time. I thought that school was the most important thing in the world and boys were the least of my worries. That was until I had met Eli. I mean, yes, I had a thing with a guy named KC, but that didn't last long. He realized that I wasn't going to do anything with him anytime soon so he moved on to the next best thing, though it didn't bother me.<p>

When I had first seen Eli at the grocery store, it was like my whole life turned upside down. It was as if I was a blind person finally getting the privilege of seeing the world again. He was absolutely stunning, and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. And when he looked up and met my gaze, I knew my skin had turned the color of a tomato. He must have noticed because he sent me the most breath taking smile. And I knew right there and then that I was hooked. Ever since that moment, I had always offered to go get the groceries, knowing that I would see him again. My parents just figured I was taking more responsibility and I was fine with letting them think that.

It didn't take long for me to finally get the courage to speak to him, and when I did I knew I was shaking with nerves. Though, he only smiled and checked my items slower than normal, giving us more time to talk. Though, the first thing I talked to him about was the weather, making him chuckle and me feel like an idiot. I remember the way he leaned closer to me, staring at me with curious eyes as he asked if I was free that night. I don't know how I managed to respond to him, since I'm pretty sure my heart had stopped. But either way I had told him I was free and he asked if I would like to go on a date with him, which only made the smile on my face grow as I accepted. It's weird to look back and remember how shy I was around him. Now, I am so comfortable with being around him.

"Not so fast." My mother's voice stopped me just as I was about to walk out the door. I turned to face her, a confused look on my face. She looked a bit upset, which made me even more confused. "Tell me where you're going."

"I just told you I was on my way to Alli's." I said, confusion laced in my voice. Did she not hear me?

"Clare, I know you're not _really_ going to Alli's." She said, her eyes glaring at me.

"What are you talking about?" I asked innocently, though I was scared as fuck. Did she know about Eli or is she just trying to see if I'm lying or not?

"The last time you had said you were going to Alli's, I called and her mother picked up." She paused, waiting to see if I would say anything. And when I didn't, she continued. "You weren't there." She walked closer to me, her arms crossed over her chest. "So, where were you?"

Shit.

Fuck.

Damn it.

No.

No.

No.

This can't be happening. She wasn't supposed to find out yet. I was going to wait till this weekend to talk to her and Dad about it. I was going to tell them about Eli. I was just going to wait a bit to actually get the courage to do it. I knew that they would be upset and I knew that they would probably ground me till I turned fifty, but they need to know. I knew that eventually they would warm up to the idea, and if not, then I will just wait till I was eighteen before I moved in with Eli. Then, they wouldn't be able to tell me what to do.

"Out," I spoke up, realizing that there was no way around this.

"With?"

"…A friend."

"Clare…"

"…A boy."

"Which boy?"

"My boyfriend."

She looked at me with raised eyebrows, not expecting me to say that. She didn't look too upset, which was a good sign, though she didn't look like she was okay with it. She looked shocked, probably because I hadn't told her.

"What's his name?" She asked and surprisingly, she was very calm.

I took in a breath, not ready for this. "Eli… Eli Goldsworthy."

"And when exactly did you plan on telling your father and I about this?"

"I was going to tell you guys this weekend. I knew that you guys wouldn't approve unless we sat down and actually talked about it." I told her, realizing that this was going way better than I had thought it would.

"Well, you're going to have to wait till your father gets home. You are right; we do need to talk about this." She paused and looked at me with a worried expression. She chewed on her bottom lip and tilted her head, looking as if she was contemplating on if she should ask me something or not. "How long has this been going on, Clare?"

"About a year."

Her eyebrows rose up into her hair line from shock, and I thought she might flip out on me. But she calmed herself down before looking at me. "Did you… have sex with this boy?"

I looked at her apologetically, knowing she won't like my answer. "Yes."

She sighed, closing her eyes as she rubbed her temples with her fingers. "Are you at least being safe?"

"Yes, mom. We're not stupid." I closed the front door, realizing that it had been open for no reason. I stepped closer to her. "And before you start lecturing me on how I should have waited for marriage and true love, know that I did wait for true love, even though we're not married. I know I'm still young, but I am old enough to know what love is. And I know that I do love Eli, more than anything. You may think that this is just a fling I have with him, but it's so much more, mom. I am in love with him, like head over heels, so please, don't try and stop me from seeing him."

She looked at me and I noticed her teary eyes. She quickly wiped them away and laughed. She smiled softly at me before speaking, "Okay, okay, I won't stop you from seeing him. Just… make sure he treats you right, honey."

I smiled, "He does, mom."

"Well," she smiled, "when do I get to meet this young man who's got you love-struck?"

I smiled wide before running to her and hugging her tightly. She hugged me back and we stood there for a few minutes. I pulled back to look at her, thankful that she actually listened to me for once. The only thing I'm worried about is how Dad will react, but I guess if one parent is on my side, then mom can convince Dad to let me keep seeing Eli.

"He's waiting for me around the block. I'll go get him and bring him over so you can meet him, okay?" I asked, smiling at her.

She smiled, "Okay."

And I was off. I swung the door open and ran as fast as I could, down the block and around the corner as the sun shun down on me. And as usual, there he was, sitting in Morty, waiting for me. I watched him for a minute as he sat there with his head tilted back and eyes closed; he's tired. He had just got off work and I knew he wanted to go home and nap. But I wondered if he would be awake enough to come meet my mom. He looked so peaceful, and I didn't want to disturb him. Maybe I could tell my mom that he was busy and we could plan for him to come to dinner or something another time.

Oh who am I kidding? I can't wait that long.

With that in mind I walked over to the driver's side, realizing the window was rolled down all the way, so I bent down and rested my arms on the window sill. I noticed his soft breathing and I realized it would be cruel to just shake him awake, so I moved my hand and brought it to his face, moving his hair from his eyes. His eyes snapped open as he jumped, startling me. I pulled my hand back and he sighed, relieved that I wasn't some creep feeling his face.

"God Clare, don't do that." He laughed softly and I smiled, bringing my hand up and to the back of his neck. He looked at me curiously as my fingers played with the hairs on the back of his head. "How was school?"

"Very school-like. How was work?"

"Very work-like."

I grinned at him, and he smiled, though he still had that curious look on his face. He licked his lips and blinked, as if he was waiting for something. "Are you going to get in or what?"

I realized then that he was waiting for me to climb into Morty, thinking that our original plans were still in order. I knew he wanted to go home and nap, and I wanted to go with him so that he can hold me close to him. Normally I didn't go to sleep like he did, I would stay awake and read or listen to my iPod or just stare at him. He didn't mind what I did as long as I was there with him. And then when he woke up we would hang out for a bit before we would get high. Sometimes we would just hang out, but other times when we felt like there was nothing else to do, we would pull out the herbal ecstasy.

"About that…" I mumbled, my fingers tracing his jaw line. I pulled back and stood up, opening the driver's side door. I looked down at Eli who peered up at me curiously with one eye squinted so he could see me without having the sun in his eyes. "How would you like to meet my mother?"

His eyebrows rose up to his hair line, obviously not expecting me to say that. He got out of the Hearse and stood in front of me as I stared up at him hopefully. He looked into my eyes, glancing from one to the other, searching for any sign to say that I was teasing him. I smiled at him, trying to tell him that I was serious. "You're serious?" he asked and I nodded. "I thought you were waiting till this weekend?"

I shrugged, "Mom figured out that I was lying to her and that I wasn't actually going to Alli's or the library, so I told her the truth." His eyes widened and I quickly corrected myself. "Well, part of the truth. I told her about us."

He let out a sigh of relief. There was no way I was going to tell my mom that I get high with him; she would never let me see him if she knew.

"Do you… do you think she'll like me?" Eli asked nervously.

I raised my eyebrows and crossed my arms over my chest, looking at him with amusement. "Elijah Goldsworthy, are you nervous to meet my parents?"

"Pfft, what? No." He cleared his throat after he realized how high his voice went, signalling he was lying.

I laughed, "You _are_ nervous." I poked his chest.

He stepped closer to me and wrapped his arm around my waist, keeping me there. His lips brushed mine as he said, "Yes, I'm nervous, but you don't need to say it aloud."

I smirked, "Why is that? You don't want anybody to know that you're scared of what your girlfriends parents will think of you?"

"Well yeah," he said, smirking. "I got a reputation to protect, you know."

I smiled, "Yeah, sure…" I dragged on before pressing my lips to his, feeling a tingly sensation throughout my body. I was about to introduce my boyfriend to my parents; to say I was nervous was an understatement.

I pulled away and brushed my nose against his, smiling, "They'll love you."

He smiled before he turned and took the key out of Morty and closing the door. We made our way back to my house, walking down the side walk with our hands intertwined. Eli suddenly stopped and I turned to look at him, wondering what was wrong. He looked a bit skeptical.

"Do I… look okay?" He asked nervously.

I smiled, "You look fine, Eli. Besides, it's just my mom… for now." I watched as he looked a bit relieved. "But when my Dad comes home from work, then you should change. Like maybe you should wear a dress shirt, a tie, preferably blue, it's his favorite. And those nice dress pants, you know, to look professional…"

His eyes were wide and he had a look of sheer terror on his face. I smiled, letting him know that I was just teasing him and I sent him a wink. He glared at me, though I knew he was relieved. "Not cool, Clare. Not cool."

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah… I guess I should explain where this came from. I was listening to these songs while I was in the car and it just kind of popped in my head. <strong>

**So, tell me what you think. Should I continue and post the next/last chapter or not?**

**xoxo**


	2. Walk On Water Or Drown

Another Me Chapter two.

**Okay, so this is going to be longer than I intended since the chapters are too long. I think maybe up to about 4 chapters, maybe just 3. I'm not sure yet. **

**Anyways, thank you for the reviews! You guys are amazing! **

**Enjoy!**

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><p><em><strong>Clare's POV<strong>_

It was pretty quiet, and I knew that this was very awkward for Eli. Heck, it was awkward for me. My mom was keeping a close eye on us from the recliner chair, making sure that there was a space between us on the couch. I didn't know why, but I had a feeling that something bad was going to happen. It could be because my mom had a look as if she was waiting for the right moment to say something to tick me or Eli off. She looked as if she wanted to get a rise out of us. This confused me; I thought she would be happy to meet him; she sure looked like she was when he walked through the door. They had shaken hands and she gave him a warm smile, which he returned, and they began talking about everything and anything, and it was all great. But something changed in my mother's expression; she looked as if she figured something out… something that she thought was proven right, and she was glad.

She was eyeing Eli in an odd kind of way, and I noticed how her eyes would occasionally glance at his jacket, a small smirk appearing but quickly fading each time she would lift her eyes to mine. I tried to shrug it off, but with each question she asked Eli, I could feel her getting closer to the topic she truly wanted to talk about. I think Eli could feel it too, with the way he shifted beside me and occasionally wiping his sweaty palms on jeans.

But when my mother had finally asked the question she had been waiting to ask, I could have sworn this was the end of the world.

"So, why are you with my daughter, Eli? Is it just so you can _fuck_ her?"

I stared at her in complete shock, not able to form words. She never used such foul language, and it was a shock to even hear a curse word slip out once every blue moon. Eli's eyes were wide and his mouth was agape, mirroring my expression.

"You don't love her, do you? You just like the fact that she's there when you want to get off."

"Mom!"

"You know, if you wanted to make a good impression, you should have hid those drugs a lot better. Maybe you shouldn't have kept them in your pocket."

"Mom, stop it!"

"Is that what this is about? You two get high and then _fuck_?"

"Mom, that's enough!"

"You guys aren't in love. You guys are just a bunch of hormonal teenagers who want physical attention. That's not love, that _lust_. You can't just fill my daughters head up with lies, telling her you love her when in reality, you're just using her for her _pussy_."

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Eli yelled angrily as he stood up from the couch. He was fuming and I knew he was about to explode. "You may be her mother but you have _no_ _right_ to accuse things. You don't' know _anything_. Up until today you didn't even know I existed. So don't you _fucking_ _dare_ tell me what I feel and don't feel towards Clare. You don't know me, you don't know what I feel, so stop with this bullshit. You may not like the fact that your daughter and I are together, but you're going to have to deal with it. Because I'm not going anywhere and you can't make me. You _can't_ stop us from seeing each other."

My mom looked shocked, and I'm pretty sure my expression mirrored hers. Though I was completely and utterly happy with what he had said, because he had pretty much just said everything I was feeling, I knew that speech wasn't going to stop my mother. She was very persistent, and at this point I wished she wasn't. Eli's breathing was heavy and his face was red. My mom's shocked expression soon turned into a look that meant she was ready for a challenge. She stood up from the recliner and walked towards Eli, who stood his ground, and she smirked at him.

"Just watch me." She glared at him and nudged her head towards the door. "Now get out of my house, and don't come back."

Eli stared at her for a minute before turning his head to look at me. I looked at him apologetically, desperately trying to tell him that I was sorry for this and that this isn't the end. That I was going to fight for him.

Eli gave me a gentle look before he turned and made his way to the door.

"Wait!" I spoke up and my mother shot me a dirty look. Eli stopped and stood there without turning around. I turned to my mother. "What is your _problem_? I thought you would accept the fact that I am happy? Don't you see that I love him?"

"You don't love him; you love the drugs and the thrill they give you." My mom spat.

"And how do you know that? We have been together for a fucking _year_ and even before I had even tried drugs I knew I had strong feelings for Eli. Drugs are just something fun we do together, and yes, it does give us a thrill. But that's not what our relationship is about, _mother dear_. If you weren't too engulfed with your fantasy of me being the _perfect_ daughter you would have noticed that throughout this year, I had been the happiest I have ever been, and it's because of _him_." I pointed to Eli who still stood with his back towards us. My mom opened her mouth to speak but I didn't let her. "You have no fucking idea what my feelings towards Eli are, so don't try and pretend that you do. And whether you like it or not, I _will_ keep seeing him to my heart's content, because there is _nothing_ in the world that I want more than to be with Eli."

Eli finally turned to look at me and I noticed his watery eyes. I looked back to my mother and she was glaring at me. I knew my speech barely did a dent to the situation, but a girl can hope, right? I wanted her to know my feelings. I wanted her to know what she would be doing to me if she went through with this. I wanted her to know that there was no way I could survive without Eli.

"Clare, I know that that is what you think you feel, but I'm not going to change my mind. You are not seeing him ever again." My mouth hung open in shock and she turned to Eli. "Now leave and if I ever see you here again, I will call the police."

"No," I muttered before running over to Eli and wrapping my arms around his neck. His arms enclosed around my torso, holding me as close as possible to him. I cried into his shoulder, trying to forget that this could be the last time I will get to hold him in a while. And in that moment I came up with a solution. There was no way I would let my mother keep my away from him forever. As soon as my eighteenth birthday hits I will be back in his arms. I will do everything and anything I can to make sure I get to be with him again. "She can't keep me away from you forever." I whispered in his ear, feeling his grip tighten around me. I felt him press a soft, tender kiss to my neck, making me cry harder. I was going to miss his touch, his kisses, his smile, his eyes, his scent… everything.

I felt my mom pull me away from him and I felt my heart shatter when he was out of my reach. I watched as she pushed him out the door before shutting it, and I couldn't breathe. My whole world had just shattered, everything was spinning and I felt nauseous. I glared at my mother and she just stepped closer to me. I jumped back away from her, not able to bear being in the same room as her.

"I'm sorry, Clare, but you'll understand later." She told me, and I broke.

"Understand this," I spat. "I _hate_ you!"

With that said I turned on my heels and stomped upstairs and into my room before slamming my door shut, feeling the walls shake. I paced my room, feeling angry with her. I don't know how something so good could turn into something so bad. I thought having Eli meet my mom would be a good thing, but it turns out I should have kept it a secret. I shouldn't have thought that my mom would be cool and understand how I was feeling; instead she ruined my life.

I quickly dove for my bed and tried not to think about the ache in my heart. I brought my pillow up to my chest and hugged it to me tightly. That's when I lost it. I closed my eyes and felt my lip quiver as the tears fell. I couldn't contain my sobs, realizing that it was going to be a while before I could see Eli again. Now that my mom has forbidden me to see him, she will have her eyes on my like a hawk, driving me to and from school, making sure I don't leave the house. She will be attached to my hip.

When it had officially sunk in that I will have to wait at least four months before I could see Eli, I could feel a little bit of hope. I can wait. He's worth it. I hoped that nothing would change between now and then; I hoped that he wouldn't find another girl during that time period. I hoped that he wouldn't forget about me. I hoped that he wouldn't look back and think of me as just another girl he had a fling with. But most of all, I hoped that he would still love me.

With that thought in mind, I cried harder. My breathing was uneven as sobs escaped my lips, but I could feel sleep overtaking me. And for the first of many nights filled with heartache, I cried myself to sleep.

* * *

><p>I thought I had cried all of my tears, but I was wrong.<p>

"…I don't know what to do, Alli." I cried, burying my face in my hands. I had just finished explaining what had happened between my mother, Eli and I yesterday as we sat on her bed. It was currently lunch and when Alli had noticed how I wasn't myself, she brought us to her house. Her parents weren't home so it's not like they would call my mom or anything. Besides, it was only lunch, and it's not like I'd take the chance in skipping school to have my mother jump down my throat to see if I was with Eli or not.

"Oh, Clare…" Alli sighed, bringing me to her. She wrapped her arms around me and let my cry into her shoulder. I had to admit I felt a little bit better, but not much. I held onto her tight, feeling my chest tighten with every breath. I don't know how I was going to concentrate on school when I was hurting this much. "Look, I know that you're hurting right now, but just think about how in four months, you get to be back in his arms and Helen can't do a damn thing about it."

I pulled back from her and wiped my tears. I looked into her eyes, realizing that she was right. "You're right; I shouldn't be moping around like this. I should be getting ready for my birthday, so that when it comes, I can just up and leave and she won't be able to stop me."

Alli smiled, "That's my girl."

* * *

><p>It was two months until my eighteenth birthday, and I couldn't be happier. I had spent the last two months working my ass off to get money, trying my best in school, and making sure that my mother was clueless as to what I was doing. According to her, I was slowly but surely getting over Eli, but in all honesty, there hasn't been a day that has passed where he hasn't been on my mind.<p>

I was currently at the grocery store, the one where I had met Eli, looking for some junk food. Alli and I had planned to have a girl's night out and she had sent me out in hopes of me seeing Eli. Unfortunately, my mother is still skeptical, so she was walking around in another aisle, getting some groceries herself.

I grabbed a bag of Cheetos and All Dressed chips and placed them in the basket. I grabbed a bag of sour candy and made my way to the chocolate section. I didn't know how much junk food Alli wanted, but I knew she wanted different things to choose from. I grabbed a few chocolate bars and placed them in the basket before turning around, only to stumble and hold my breath.

There stood Eli, looking at me with a price tag sticker gun in his hand. I could feel my heart flutter just at the sight of him, and I knew I was a goner. I knew that my mother could walk into the aisle at any moment, but I didn't care. I'm standing in front of him right now, and it's fucking amazing to be able to see his gorgeous face again.

His eyes flickered to the basket in my hand and he smirked before looking back into my eyes. "Quite the appetite you got there."

"You jerk," I whispered and he frowned in confusion. "This is the first time we've seen each other in two months and that's the first thing you say to me?" I asked with a smile. He smiled back when he realized I wasn't mad. He dropped the price tag gun as I dropped the basket before running into his arms. I wrapped mine around his neck and felt my eyes water as I whispered, "I miss you so much."

"I guarantee it's not as much as I miss you, baby." He pressed a kiss to my temple and I felt a tear fall from my eye and down my cheek.

We stood there for a moment and I realized just how much I had missed being in his arms. I missed his sent and I took this chance to take it in. I heard him chuckle softly and I knew he knew what I had done, so I smiled and pressed a kiss to his neck. I pulled back to look at him and he wiped my tear away before tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. I looked form his eyes to his lips and back to his eyes. I wonder if he wanted to kiss me as much as I wanted to kiss him, but I knew I didn't want to wait for him to tell me.

Just as I was about to lean in and capture his lips with mine, I heard a familiar voice calling my name.

"Clare?" It was my mother, but she was still in a different aisle.

I stepped back from Eli and frowned, "That's my mom. She still doesn't trust me to stay away from you." He smirked but it quickly faded and he frowned. I reached up to cup his face in my hands and he looked at me softly. "Only two more months until I'm eighteen… and then I'm all yours. If you'll still have me."

His lips were suddenly on mine and I couldn't help but melt into him. There was no single emotion that could ever explain how I was feeling at this moment. I was ecstatic to see his face, thrilled to be in his arms once again, amazed at how nothing has changed, happy to know that I wasn't the only one who was going through hell, and sad that this could possibly be the last time I'll get to see him until I'm eighteen. He pulled back and I looked into his eyes, wishing that we had more time. "I'll be waiting. Forever and always, baby."

"Clare?" My mother called out again, and I could tell she was closer.

I pulled away from Eli and gave him a soft smile, which he returned. I began to walk backwards out of the aisle after picking up my basket, my eyes locked on Eli's as I walked away. I blew him a kiss and he smiled. I turned the corner just in time to meet my mother.

"Oh Clare, there you are. Are you alright?"

"Yes, mother." I told her with a roll to the eyes and she nodded.

"Ready to go?" She asked, and I nodded.

* * *

><p>"Happy eighteenth Birthday, Clear-bear!" Alli sang as she waltzed in through the door, a big mischievous grin on her lips. She gave me a tight hug and when she pulled back, she winked before walking over to the corner and placing her gift there. I smiled at her. Today was the big day, and she knew exactly what I had planned. I think the reason why she was so happy about this was because she was helping me with this. She was going to be here with me when it happened and she was going to be my escape. I was thankful that Alli's parents had ended up getting her a car. My parents didn't know where Eli lived, so if they ever came looking for me, they wouldn't be able to find me. The only person who would know where I am going is Alli. She'll be the only person who will know where I am, and I trust her to keep that information to herself.<p>

"I thought we were past the nickname thing." I teased as I closed the front door.

She only smiled at me before she looked around the house for any signs of my parents. When she realized the coast was clear she turned me and grabbed my hands. "You're sure you want to do this?"

I nodded, squeezing her hands in mine. "Yes, I'm sure. I have never been so devoted to anything in my life, Alli. I can't stay away from him any longer."

She eyed me for a moment, her head tilting to the side as her eyes squinted. "You really love him, don't you?"

I could feel my cheeks flaming up and I knew I was the color of a fire truck. I nodded as a shy smile crept up onto my lips. She smiled and whispered, "Well, I can't wait to officially meet him."

It was then that I realized she hasn't actually met Eli in person yet. I had told her everything about him – everything that was appropriate to discuss – but she has yet to actually meet him face to face. I know she knows what he looks like because she was searching through my phone one day and found a picture of Eli. At first she just shrugged it off but then as she went on, she realized pretty much every picture on there was of him or me and him smiling, doing funny faces or kissing. It was then that she turned to me and asked who he was. I still remember how she raised her eyebrows when she saw the blush appear on my cheeks. It was only the beginning of our relationship and I didn't want to tell anybody yet, but I knew Alli wouldn't let it go until I told her, so I cracked and told her everything. I even told her to keep it from my parents and she promised her lips were sealed, understanding the situation I was in, since she had been in it plenty of times with her parents.

"Oh my God, Alli, you're going to love him. He's so sweet and funny and –"

I stopped speaking abruptly when my father walked into the living room, putting on his tie. Alli turned to face him and he smiled at her and she returned it.

"Who is sweet and funny and…?" My father asked, looking as clueless as ever.

I glanced at Alli and she quickly came to my rescue. "Clare made friends with this new boy at school and she was just telling me what he was like… isn't that right, Clare?" Alli turned to me, smiling, but her eyes told me to play along.

I blinked, "Yep! You know me… always the nice girl. Guess that's why they call me Saint Clare." I said, trying my best to hide the lie. Alli gave me a look and I realized then that if I had ever dreamed of becoming an actress, I would have to reconsider that dream.

My dad eyed us suspiciously, but smiled. "That's good, Clare. I bet that meant a lot to that boy."

I nodded, laughing nervously. Alli nudged my side and I quickly stopped, glancing at her to see her smiling at my father.

"Well," my father began, "when the other girls get here, tell them your mother and I say hi." I nodded, thanking the lord that my parents had decided to go out during my 'birthday party'. What they didn't know was that Alli and I will be the only people at this 'party'. I was taking advantage of this time to get everything ready for tonight.

As if on cue, my mother had walked into the living room, her heels clicking on the hardwood floor. She smiled at us and they both made their way to the door. "Alright, you know our numbers, so if anything goes wrong –"

"I'll call you." I rolled my eyes. "Mom, I'm not a little kid anymore. I know how to take care of myself. I'm an adult now." I couldn't hide the small smirk on my lips from my hidden words. They had no idea what they were in store for.

She sighed, and smiled at us. "I know you are honey. Alright, well, have fun girls."

I waved them off before closing the door and leaning my back against it, smiling at Alli who grinned back. We both squealed and jumped up and down before running upstairs into my soon to be former room.

* * *

><p>"What about this?"<p>

"Sure, I mean, if Eli wouldn't mind having that hanging on his wall."

I looked back at the poster of a boy band I had, realizing Alli was right. I doubt Eli would want to look at his walls and see this hanging there, so I put it in a box. I went back to getting the things I needed and placing them in a duffle bag while I placed the unnecessary things in a box. I knew I wouldn't be able to take everything, so I decided to go through everything I had and take what I really needed. I had most of my clothes packed already, putting some clothes that I never wear in the box. I grabbed a few of my favorite books and placed them in my bag, knowing I wouldn't be able to leave them behind.

"Okay… I think have the main things down." I mumbled, looking around my room. I snapped my fingers when I remembered my things in the bathroom. I ran into the bathroom and grabbed my necessities before running back into the room before placing them in my bag. I had already put all of the things I use daily in there, so I think I'm done.

"OH!" Alli exclaimed, jumping up. "You have to open my gift!" She smiled brightly and before I could respond, she was already on her way down the stairs.

When she had finally come back up the stairs, she had a bag in her hand. She gave to me with a coy smile and I knew I should brace myself. We both sat on the bed and I began to pull out the purple tissue paper before reaching inside the bag and pulling out her present. My eyes widened and my mouth dropped when I had realized it was lingerie. I grabbed a pillow and through it at her, causing us both to laugh.

"Come on, you know you love it." She teased. "I know Eli will." She wiggled her eyebrows and I fell into a fit of giggles, knowing she was right. Eli would love this.

"Thanks, Alli." I said, once I calmed down.

She smiled and waved her hand as if it was nothing. I leaned over and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug. She wrapped her arms around me and we sat there for a few minutes, taking in the reality of what was happening. We finally pulled away and I stood up to grab a tissue, wiping away a few stray tears. I knew I would be seeing her again, but it was such a big change. I mean, I won't be just down the street from her anymore, and instead of my parents being the ones I would have to consult when we planned to have a girls night, it would be Eli.

"Clare," I heard Alli asked and I turned to face her, noticing that she was standing across the room and in front of my dresser. "What about this?"

She turned around and in her hand was a picture of me, my mother, my father and Darcy. We all had a smile on our face, but I remember what we were truly feeling. It was taken the day before Darcy had left and we were all breaking on the inside. I remember that after that picture was taken, I broke down and cried into my hands. Darcy had comforted me, but it still hurt. She promised that she would write and call me on a regular basis, and that she would be back soon. And to this day, I was still waiting for her to fulfil her promises. Though, I couldn't leave it here. I knew that even though that picture brought back a bad memory, it was probably the nicest picture of my family, so I reached over and took the picture from Alli's hand and placed it on my bag.

I looked over at the clock and that's when I realized that it was getting pretty late. Time flies by when you're packing, I guess.

I looked back up at Alli and she smiled, "You ready?"

I took a deep breath and smiled, "I was born ready."

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><p><strong>Sooo… I'm guessing you are all going to hate me for ending it there, but oh well! I want to see what you guys think will happen! Sorry for any grammar mistakes. <strong>

**Tell me your thoughts! Xoxo**


	3. Is This By Mistake Or Design?

Another Me Chapter Three

**I'm so sorry for not updating this story. To be honest I had most of this chapter written already, but I just couldn't come up with the other half. But I had a sudden burst of inspiration and viola! **

**I hope you guys don't completely hat eme for taking forever with this, but I am back. I'm not sure how long it will be before the next chapter, but don't expect it very soon. I won't have very much time to write during the week and my weekend is all booked up. But I promise I am not done with this story! **

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy. **

**No Beta for this, so ignore any mistakes. :)**

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><p><em><strong>Clare's POV<strong>_

"I can't believe this is happening." Alli said from the driver's seat, and I turned to look at her with a laugh. Here we were, sitting in her car, on our way to my new home and she says she can't believe its happening? I mean, yes, this is so surreal and I wondered if I was doing the right thing, but when I thought of how much I miss him, I knew I was doing the right thing.

"Shouldn't I be the one saying that?"

Alli cast a glance at me before fixing her eyes on the road again. She smiled, "I guess, but I mean… you're my best friend who was a Saint when I had met you, and here I am, helping you move in with your boyfriend, who you are forbidden to see. It's a little hard to wrap my head around this, okay?"

We both shared a laugh and I sighed, "I get it, I get it. I have changed a lot, but honestly, I wouldn't want it any other way. Alli, I had always lived life by the rules, but when I met Eli he showed me that there is way more adventure when you walk on the wild side. He showed me how to live, and I know that deep down you are proud that I have let loose for once."

She shot me a glance once again, but she looked at me with disbelief. "Deep down? What the hell are you talking about, girl? I'm fucking worshiping that guy for bringing out this side of you. I mean, I loved Saint Clare, but this Clare is ten times better." She paused, "No offence."

I laughed, "None taken."

It was silent for a few minutes, but I knew Alli had more to say.

"Are you sure you're ready to do this? I mean, your parents will figure out where you are soon enough, and there will be consequences. Are you ready for that?" She asked softly, her tone serious as she watched the road.

I sighed, "I know that sooner or later my parents will figure out where I am. But I know that when they do, I'll be able to show them just how wrong they were to keep me from him. I mean, my dad doesn't really have anything to do with this; my mom just told him that I wasn't allowed to see Eli and he had no choice but to agree, otherwise all hell would break loose. But when my mom sees that Eli truly is the one and that I can take care of myself, she'll understand." I looked out the window, watching the street lights go by. "I hope."

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><p>Here I was, standing in front of my new home. I couldn't contain the smile on my lips. Alli had just dropped me off and when we realized that the lights were off, we figured he was asleep so we would plan for her to meet him another time. We had said our goodbyes for now and I had dragged my bag up to the front door, not able to believe that this was actually happening. I reached over the door frame and found the key before unlocking the door. I dragged my bags in before shutting the door softly. I took off my jacket and left my bags downstairs, knowing I couldn't bring them up without making a shit load of noise. I knew that he had worked today, and I knew he was tired, so I didn't want to wake him up and make him come downstairs with a baseball bat or something. So, I slowly and carefully walked up the stairs, trying not to squeal in excitement. I finally made it up to his room and I slowly opened the door, making sure I didn't make too much noise as I walked inside.<p>

I tip toed over to his bed, smiling as I noticed how cute he looked as slept sprawled out on his back, head tilted to the side, eyes shut and lips parted slightly as he breathed. I slowly and carefully placed one knee on the bed and swung my leg over his waist, straddling him. I leaned down and kissed his bare chest, feeling him stir in his sleep. I sat up and watched as he turned his head so he was facing me, blinking rapidly. He moved his hand and rubbed his eyes before they finally settled on me.

He sat up abruptly, coming face to face with me. I smiled at him, noticing the shine in his wide eyes, bringing my hands up and running them through his tangled hair. I pressed my forehead to his and he stared at me with astonishment.

"This is a dream," he mumbled. "It has to be."

I shook my head and smiled, "I'm eighteen, baby. I'm all yours."

He let out a short laugh, obviously amazed with my appearance. He rolled us over before he kissed my lips hard and passionately, sending my mind into a whirl. I had missed his kisses so much; to the point that I thought I might go insane. I missed his lips on mine, the way he would kiss me softly just for the touch of our lips being connected. I missed the way he would keep his lips so close to mine as he spoke so our lips would brush, just so he could tease me. He pulled away and kissed down my jaw and to my neck, moving south to my chest and my arms, kissing every part of my body, sending a tingly feeling all over my skin. After he kissed my stomach he made his way back up and nuzzled his head into my neck, his arms wrapping around me. I felt my heart flutter from his touch, his kisses paralyzing me like always.

"I just want to hold you." He whispered in my ear.

I smiled, "Fine by me."

He moved back to his side of the bed and pulled me to him, my back pressed against his front. Before I got comfortable, I sat up and removed my shirt and jeans before climbing back under the covers. Eli's arm wrapped around my waist and he pulled me closer to him, the touch of his bare skin on mine made my body tingle. I missed moments like this. I missed having our limbs tangled, our hands intertwined, his breath on my neck, his arm around me… I missed everything.

I brought his hand to my lips and gave a soft kiss, still not able to believe that I'm here. I felt him respond with a kiss to my shoulder as he whispered, "You're going to get cold."

I turned in his arms and looked into his hypnotizing eyes. I lifted my hand and brushed his hair from his face, my fingers lingering on his cheek. "You can keep me warm."

He smiled and I leaned up to kiss him, loving the taste of his lips.

* * *

><p>The next morning, I woke up to the sound of pots and pans clanking together. I squeezed my eyes shut before blinking rapidly, trying to get my vision back. It was then that a smile had found its way onto my lips, realizing that I was in Eli's bedroom. I remembered the events of yesterday and I wondered if my mom had tried to call me yet. I had left them a note, but all I told them was that I was old enough to take care of myself and that I love them. It was just a goodbye, because I knew that if I didn't say goodbye, they would probably file a missing persons report. I realized I should check my phone, and as I turned to reach over Eli to find my jeans, I realized that the spot next to me was empty.<p>

I frowned and sat up, listening for a moment before I heard a noise downstairs, signalling he was up. I got up and grabbed my jeans, fishing out my phone. I turned it on and realized my parents had tried calling me over fifteen times. I had multiple texts from Alli who said my parents had called her parents, and that I owe her for covering for me. I quickly sent Alli a text saying that I'll buy her anything she wanted as long as she kept covering for me. I turned my phone back off before throwing it on the floor again.

I walked over to Eli's dresser and pulled out a pair of his sweat pants and a t-shirt before slipping them on. I ran my hand through my hair, knowing it was a mess but not bothering to try and fix it before I made my way downstairs. When I had reached the kitchen, I smiled softly at the sight of Eli cooking. He was whistling, which was a rare sight, but an adorable one at that. He still hadn't noticed me, so I crept up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist from behind. His whistling stopped and his body froze, but he didn't jump away so I figured he knew it was me.

I felt his hands run over my arms, giving me goose bumps, but I stayed put. I closed my eyes as my head rested on his back; it just felt too right to let go. I could feel him trying to move from my hold, but I tightened my grip around him and he chuckled softly, taking one of my hands and bringing it up to his lips, giving it a chaste kiss.

"Are you going to let me go so I can finish making breakfast?" He asked and I could feel the vibration from his voice flow from his body to mine.

"No." I mumbled, shaking my head against his back, messing my hair up even more.

Eli turned in my arms so he was now facing me and I looked up at him, blowing my hair out of my eyes when I realized I could barely see him from how messy it was. He chuckled and moved my hair from my face, his hands cupping the sides of it. He smiled softly at me and I couldn't help but grin up at him. I was finally back in his arms, just like I had hoped.

"Good morning, beautiful." He whispered.

I scrunched my nose, "Beautiful? This isn't really me definition of beautiful." I said, pointing to my hair and my obviously tired looking face.

He leaned down and kissed my forehead before looking into my eyes, his hand moving to place a messy curl behind my ear. "Well, it's mine."

I flushed the color of a tomato and buried my head into the crook of his neck. He rested his head on mine as his arms wrapped around my body. He ran his fingers through my hair as we stood there for a few moments, making me smile softly. I loved the simplest touches from this man.

Suddenly I felt his hand trail down and I jumped back, squealing when he pinched my ass. He laughed and said, "Now, I can finish breakfast." I glared at him as he turned around and quickly finished making the eggs and bacon before turning the stove off and plating the food, and grabbing some toast to go along with it.

No matter how badly I wanted to be upset with him, I couldn't help but smile as he handed me my plate, smiling at me with bright eyes.

We both sat down at the table and began eating, joking and laughing about everything and anything. I didn't know if Eli knew this, but he was a pretty damn good cook, and when I told him this, he smirked at me and gave me a kiss, as if to say thank you. When we finished, Eli had taken our plates to the sink and rinsed them off.

"I have to tell you something." Eli said as he had his back turned to me, his hands on the counter as he leaned against it. I held my breath, thinking that he is going to tell me that he was unfaithful, that he had met someone when we were apart, or –

"I love you."

I could feel my eyes going wide as saucers, my mouth forming the shape of an O, my heart beating erratically in my chest. He… he said it. He finally _said_ it. I knew he had loved me without him using words, but it felt so nice to hear him say it. Those words falling past his lips sounded like music to my ears. I didn't know what to do. I just sat there with that stupid look on my face. I had finally gotten enough strength to close my mouth.

"What made you come to that conclusion?" I asked softly, not knowing what else to say.

I watched curiously as he turned around and faced me, leaning against the counter. One of his hands stayed on the edge of the counter as he picked at it, his gaze fixated on his fingers. "Because it's true," he said softly. "You had the chance to get rid of me. You had an excuse to break it off with me. We were separated for four months and you could have found someone new, you could have used your mothers excuse as your own… you could have left me… but you stayed. And because of that, I know that even through the toughest times… we'll make it through." He finally looked up at me. "Because you love me, and I love you."

I grinned at him before standing up. "Say it again."

"I love you."

"Again."

I took a step towards him each time those three specific words filled the room.

"I love you."

"Again."

"I love you."

I giggled and wrapped my arms around his neck once I had finally reached him. "Again," I whispered.

His arms circled around my waist and he pulled me closer, our noses brushing up against one another's. "I love you," he whispered.

"Say it, sing it, scream it… just don't stop." I told him as my fingers played with his hair.

He grinned and pressed his lips to mine. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you." He repeated against my lips, making the biggest grin appear on them.

"I am never going to get tired of hearing that." I said honestly. I smiled at him and brushed his bangs from his eyes.

He grinned and pulled me closer.

"And I'm never going to get tired of saying it."

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><p>"Shouldn't you call your parents?"<p>

I groaned and slouched into the couch. I turned my head to look at Eli, giving him a look that told him I wasn't happy, though his attention was on the TV. He finally turned to look at me, and his eyes widened from my look. I could tell he was nervous, knowing that what he had said wasn't the best thing to bring up at the moment. I knew I should call my parents and tell them that I'm alright, and that I just wanted some freedom, but I knew I couldn't.

"I can't do that, Eli. Not yet. I just want to have some freedom before I have to face reality. I'd like it if I could have a few days where they aren't down my throat." I sighed and stared into his eyes, seeing just what I needed.

_Understanding_.

Eli nodded and gave me a small smile before wrapping his arm around me, bringing me closer. I rested my head on his chest and cuddled into him, wrapping my arm around his waist. I felt him place a kiss on the top of my head and I smiled softly.

"Well, you've come to the right place."

His voice held something that was all too familiar, and I knew where he was going with this.

I grinned.

* * *

><p>Giggling uncontrollably, I reached over and let Eli take a drag from the joint in my hand. His eyelids drifted shut as he removed his lips from the joint, and I watched in fascination as he let the smoke flow out of his mouth in the shape of an O. He looked so sexy as he sat there in the corner of the couch, his arm resting lazily on the arm rest while his other lay limply on the back of the couch. His legs were tangled with mine and my hand rubbed his knee lazily, knowing how much he liked it. I brought the joint back to my lips and took a drag myself, letting the sweet, intoxicating drug flow down my throat before taking over my body. Eli let his head fall back against the couch as he chuckled, and I realized just how much I needed this.<p>

I could feel my body buzzing with the familiar aroma of the well used drug. My mind was on the world's highest rollercoaster, going up and down and around. I handed Eli the joint and giggled at the feeling of his fingertips grazing mine, sending a shock through my body. I had missed this feeling and the fact that I was enjoying without needing to worry about if my parents would smell it or if they would look into my eyes and just know was making this moment all the more worth it. I was finally letting myself be free, wild, untameable, and I loved every minute of it.

"I love you," Eli's voice cut through my thoughts, making me turn my head to look at him. His clouded doe eyes were on me and his lips were curled up into a lazy smile. "I really do."

I smiled and pushed his legs off of mine before crawling over to him, slowly and seductively. I stared into his eyes and smiled, leaning down to press my lips to his. My lips felt as if they were on fire as they moved slowly with his. My mind was spinning as our kiss became heated. Eli arched into me lightly as he pushed me back, his lips moving urgently with mine. Eli broke the kiss for a second as he put the bud out in the ashtray before turning back to me, cupping the back of my neck with his hand and bringing me to him. I moaned into the kiss, my nimble fingers rushing to grab the hem of his shirt. He pulled back, getting the hint, and removed his shirt as I rushed to rip mine from my body.

He leaned forward once more and pushed me back on the couch, resting his lower half between my legs. His hand cupped my cheek as his tongue found mind, sending my mind into a spiral of undeniable want. The feeling of his skin on mine made my whole body tingle, my heart racing at the feeling. He bit down on my lip roughly, though I didn't feel anything but harsh pleasure as a moan ripped through my throat. Eli moved his head down to my neck, letting his lips and tongue do wonders to my heated flesh. My chest rose and fell rapidly from my harsh breathing, but I couldn't deny just how good this excitement was making me feel. I moaned lightly and clawed his back, feeling his teeth nibble on my flesh as he rocked his hips to mine, letting me feel just how excited he was.

Eli brought his lips back to mine hungrily as my fingers rushed to undo his pants. I pulled his pants off of his hips harshly, just wanting them to be gone already. I gripped his face in my hands, letting my nails rake down the sides of his face as his hands found my jeans, playing with the button and zipper. I suddenly regretted ever getting dressed today, realizing that it was pointless with how things were going. He finally undid the button and zipper before he pulled down my jeans and underwear, rushing to discard them and throw them to the floor. Eli's lips found my neck once again, his tongue tracing designs on my flesh.

"Jesus," I moaned in shock and pleasure, tossing my head back at the feeling of Eli's fingers touching my most sensitive area. My hands gripped the fabric of the couch, my mouth hanging open as he played with my bundle of nerves, adding pressure with his thumb and rubbing small circles. I breathed heavily as I let the pleasure take over my body. I bit my lip and moaned softly, feeling his middle finger slid down and into my dripping core.

Eli lifted his head and kissed the corner of my lips before watching me with lustful eyes. He licked his lips as he watched me writher in pleasure beneath him, and I knew this was an ego boost for him, but the moan that ripped through my throat as he pumped his finger inside me was something I was unable to control. I begged him for more, wanting him to add another finger, but he just smirked and continued his ministrations, teasing me to the extent where I almost exploded.

Suddenly he stopped. I lifted my head to look at him, and by the look on my face I would expect him to at least explain or continue, but he only smirked seductively before fully removing his pants and boxers. I got close to my face, my heavy breaths hitting his face as he reached behind me to unclasp my bra, pulling it from my body.

"Don't worry, baby. This will make up for it. Trust me." He smiled and kissed my lips quickly. I felt his hands trail to my thighs before he separated them, positioning himself between them. I suddenly felt extreme excitement, knowing what was about to come would definitely make up for it.

Eli placed his hand on the arm rest beside my head, holding himself up as he aligned himself at my entrance, slowly and torturously easing his way in. I bit my lip and gripped his hips as he filled me. He leaned close to me, so close that our foreheads almost touched, and he began moving. He rocked his hips back and forth slowly, his heavy breaths mixing with mine. I stared into his eyes as he moved slightly faster, but still incredibly slow, though I didn't mind. I moaned lightly and pushed my head into the arm rest of the couch, realizing just how pleasurable this was. It didn't matter that we weren't moving at an extremely fast pace; all that mattered was how we felt with each other, and how it felt to be one.

My hand moved up and gripped his forearm, soft moans spilling from my lips as he went deeper inside me, his smoky eyes staring into mine. I bent my leg and moved it up so it was resting against Eli's side, giving him much more room and letting him go deeper. Eli's hand gripped my hip as he moaned lightly, his forehead falling to mine. He finally decided it was time to pick up his pace when I lifted my hips to his, sending intense pleasure through my body.

"Oh, yes," I moaned as he picked up his pace, his lips curling up into a grin as he moved faster and faster. He groaned and bit his lips as he watched my face twist in intense pleasure, his hips moving even faster now. I moaned repeatedly, urging him to go faster, deeper, harder; I wanted more, anything that would give me more pleasure. And the look of Eli's face twisting in pleasure was surely the sexiest turn on, ever.

"Stop, stop, stop!" I said as I hit his chest softly. He looked at me questionably, but stopped nonetheless.

I pushed him back to lie on the couch, and when I crawled on top of him he smirked knowingly. I let him fill me once more before I began to rock above him. Eli moaned as I picked up my pace, his hands gripping the couch. His head tilted back into the arm rest as I moved even faster, watching his face. I moaned loudly and bit my lip, knowing I was close to my end. I placed my hand son his chest and moved faster, smiling wickedly as I watched Eli's eyes roll back with pleasure. His hands gripped my lips as he began to thrust his upward, moaning to no extent. I wondered if he noticed just how loud he was being, knowing how he hates it when he cries out, but I didn't want to ruin this for him or me, so I kept my mouth shut. Besides, by the looks of it he was too awash in pleasure to even care.

"Fuck… oh god," he moaned, his fingernails digging into my flesh.

"I thought you didn't believe if god," I teased through my heavy breaths.

He kept his eyes closed as he said, "I don't. But holy shit if there is one I hope he lets me have this forever."

I giggled and leaned down to kiss him, feeling the boil in the pit of my stomach as he kissed me back. I placed my hands on the arm rest above his head, moving at an erratic pace, trying to get us both to finish. Eli twisted his hips as he thrust up, causing me to cry out in intense pleasure, and I knew with just one more push I would be over the edge.

"Cum with me, baby."

I nodded, loving the way that he calls me baby. We both moved at an erratic pace, trying to reach our ends, and when he lifted his hips to mine just as I rocked into him, cries of pleasure filled the room as my head flew back, finally reaching my end.

My body shook as I came down from my high, my body falling against Eli's. Our bare chests heaved as our heavy breaths filled the room. I dug my head into his neck as I felt his hand move my slightly damp hair out of my face, running his fingers through it. We lay there in silence for a few minutes, waiting until we both fell down from our highs before we make a move.

"I love you," I whispered as I traced lazy circles on his chest.

He turned his head to kiss my forehead as he whispered, "I love you, too."

I smiled; I was never going to get over that.

I finally decided to get up, removing myself from Eli and climbing off of him.

"Where are you going?" He pouted.

"To make a sandwich; I'm fucking starving." I told him, grabbing his shirt from the floor and pulling it on.

He whined, "Aw, can you make me one, too?"

I smiled and leaned down, pressing my lips to his. He kissed me back softly, his lips moving with such affection that I didn't even want to move anymore. I was so in love with this man that I couldn't even get over it. He was just so alluring, so amazing, so mysterious, and I loved how I was the only one he let in; I was the only one he ever opened up to.

I pulled back with a smile on my lips.

"You're the only man I would make a sandwich for." I said. I watched his lips curl up into a bright smile, something I only see every once in a while.

I turned to walk into the kitchen when he slowly got up and pulled his boxers back on, hearing him follow me. Suddenly his arms were around me as he walked into the kitchen with me, my back pressed against his chest.

"That's probably the best thing you have ever said to me." Eli said into my ear.

I giggled and turned in his arms to give him a kiss.

"Don't get used to it."

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><p><strong>Review and tell me what you thought! <strong>

**Xoxo **


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